For those of you faithful journeyers (I’m using this term henceforth), you may have been a tad alarmed when you didn’t see this post around 8AM this morning. No worries, all is well. Or, should I say things are as well as they can be for one contemplating his very being. I’m continuing the question I asked in the last post, “Who are you?”
Are you willing to walk all the way down this road? If not, I understand, but please don’t read any further. It’ll only serve to jolt you from where you are and when you do decide to go no further, you’ll only be lost, that much further from what you knew. The rest, don’t read on without a pen and paper, or copying the coming questions into a document where you can record the answers. Yes, I’m inviting you on this journey of discovery with me. Yes, for the majority of you, it’s evening and the dull roar of your day is quieting down and you are ready to be vulnerable with yourselves, raw.
Here come the questions. But in asking the overarching, we have to break it down into manageable chunks. That is why there are as many questions as there are below. Answer them at your own pace. But, answer them and answer them truthfully. The future of your world depends particularly on the latter. So, hold your nose, because here comes the cold water…
1. What are the major events in my life that have led me to this point? In other words, what’s my story?
2. Of those events, do I see a trend of negative/positive events that suggest patterns worth changing or taking a closer look at?
3. Am I generally content with where I am now?
4. What do I like the least about myself (personality that is)?
5. What caused me to act in this way? What event or family pattern led me to think this is a normal behavior or defend myself in this way?
6. Am I afraid of digging deeper because I’m not sure what I’ll find lurking beneath?
7. Do I have someone with whom I can share these answers?
8. What do I like most about my personality?
9. Why do I value this trait so much?
10. How would I describe my dad’s personality? Do I even know my dad on that level?
11. What overlap do I see in my own personality? What reactionary/self-defense personality traits have I acquired over the years against my dad?
12. How would I describe my mom’s personality? Do I know my mom at this depth?
13. What overlap do I see in my own personality? What reactionary/self-defense personality traits have I acquired over the years against my mom?
14. Do I have siblings? If so, repeat the last couple questions for each sibling.
15(ish). What do I value more, alone time or time with people? If people, do I prefer one-on-one or group settings?
16. Do I value facts or am I more intrigued by the possibility of theories?
17. Look at an object in front of you. Describe it. Did you point out a characteristic of it or did you just say what it was or try to use metaphor?
18. When I think about a group, do I relate to it as a single entity or as a conglomeration of individuals?
19. If I could be anything professionally, what would I be?
20. What about that job excites me most?
21. Why haven’t I pursued it?
22. What are a few things that I enjoy most in life?
23. What about them brings me to life?
24. What don’t I do that I wish I did?
26. What is my biggest fear in life?
27. Where did I pick up this fear?
28. Is this fear necessary to continue carrying around?
29. Do I have people in my life consistently?
30. Do they, does anyone, know everything about me?
31. What am I least willing to share with them?
33. Do I feel alone?
34. Am I?
35. Do I have a personal relationship with God?
37. Do I want more from that relationship?
38. What is an issue or two politically, socially that matter most to me?
39. Am I doing anything about that belief?
40. Is my spiritual life in the same boat?
41. Is my life fulfilling?
42. Am I making a difference in the world around me?
43. In light of the past 42 questions, what are a few words, phrases, sentences that I would use to describe how I want to move forward from this point? What would I like to distill my life down to that expresses who I am and what I believe concisely?
44. Live it.