“I am weary, tired of all the struggle. I want to know that at some point the war for my heart’s affections will die down and cease.” –
I don’t like to quote myself, however today I couldn’t resist. It’s Friday and I love Fridays, but it’s also Friday after a long week emotionally and spiritually for me. I’m physically tired from not sleeping. I’m weary from the questions. I’m drained from the seeking. I want to give up. I want to check out, call it a week (or two) and just disappear. But I can’t quit. I won’t. Here’s why.
I need the “I can’t quit”
Really, I know I need this attitude. It’s plain and simple. If I quit today when the going is turbulent, but far from tumultuous, what precedent does that set? If I throw in the towel regarding my struggle today, what happens when something tougher comes my way? No, I need to know I can’t quit today. I need to know there are more battles for which I’m being prepared today. I need to know I can’t quit because I will be made to see victory.
I can’t quit because I don’t need to
I can’t quit because this battle was never mine to fight in the first place. I’ve wrestled control from my loving and capable Father once more. I don’t trust Him to want to provide today. I don’t trust Him to be as benevolent and loving as I claim. No, there are just some things that are too close to my chest, and I need to spring into action ensuring it’ll all end well. I’m tired of the striving, the vain effort; I want to quit, can’t quit. There’s nothing for me to quit if I just let go. But it’s so hard sometimes.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” — Jeremiah 29:11–13
God already has plans for my good. They have been in motion since the foundations of the universe were set. He cares deeply about my joy. He is more than capable. He is the God who can’t quit. Though He rested on the seventh day, it wasn’t because He was tired, but because He was showing me, showing us, we need to take a break, step back and let Him be God. He showed that we can’t quit because He is in control and He will never quit. Quitting is just not what our God is about. Remember with me today, friends, we can’t quit.