Caught Between Two Worlds

So, after several months of still attempting to find my way as a blogger on this site, I am yet again embarking on a different path. This post should take a little more of a conversational tone than previously encountered on my blog. To be blunt, it’s hard to religiously maintain blogging when in a perceived vacuum. There is little point to a blog that isn’t for a good greater than my own narcissism. In this spirit, I set forth once more and continue to explore the world of blogging. Maybe this is just another sign that I’m not a blogger, but in my cautious (at times) nature, I will give it some time.

That out of the way, I want to spend the rest of this post contemplating trusting in God. Why? Obviously, I’m struggling at least a little even in this post. Proverbs 3:5-6 definitively states, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make all your paths straight.” Seems pretty simple, and (sorry) straightforward but that’s not at all been my experience. There’s a distinct reason I go by the pseudonym “The Wayward Journeyer”. My paths have never been straight. But, to what do straight paths refer?

Despite my 23-year-young self, I have to acknowledge the overwhelming probability that straight paths do not mean smooth sailing as any cursory glance over the Bible reveals. Even at this reality, my heart rebels and does not want to accept this without challenge. Here is where I tangibly experience the tension that is living in this world, but undeniably not being of it. I think it is moments like this I am most assured that this earth is not my home.

However, my rebellious nature does not want to find a home. I do not want to take refuge in the infinite, unchanging and good being that I dumbly refer to as “God.” Yes, I’m a little disappointed right now with the confining nature of the human tongue and especially that of the English language. As I was saying, I know cognitively that I can trust in God because He is good and unchanging, therefore He will always be good. Cognition, however was the first symptom of the Fall. Cognition means nothing; it is only there to reveal how far fallen I am from the God of grace. I have every reason to trust wholeheartedly in this God, but I take near every opportunity to turn away in blatant rebellion.

Now that I’ve taken all this real estate to inspect and infer, here’s where I turn and ask those wiser than myself a question or two. One, how completely can we be expected to submit and trust in God given our human nature? Two, when we do trust in Him, what actually get straightened out in our lives?