We don’t struggle alone. It’s hard to imagine a faith without question. In my case, it’s impossible. While I’m quite familiar with, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen,” I don’t believe this is the only faith (Hebrews 11:1). Instead, I believe it to be the faith to which we ascribe. Along the way, we will stumble, fumble and doubt. However, our response should not be to self-flagellate into faithful submission, but rather to pray for heart change in the full knowledge we are in good company.

Faith noticed. On more than one occasion, I’ve had people tell me they respected me for my faith. They didn’t necessarily agree with it, but they respected it. While those are some great compliments, they come with an admission: I struggle with my faith, often. I wrestle with questions particularly of application in a day and age so filled with grey. Oftentimes, I’m led to discouragement. I realize that it is in these times I need most to be reminded of the people exemplified in God’s Word. The “heroes” of the faith were all flawed. Deeply. They committed every sin imaginable, yet, God looks upon them favorably. Suddenly, I am not so weak anymore.

Spurgeon’s Evening Meditation for December 10

Only one can change the heart. Accidentally, I read a day ahead in Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening. However, it reminded me that in my moments of apparent weakness (of which they are), it is not my job, nor is it my ability to wring faith from my fragile heart. Heart change belongs to the heart Creator. Heart change comes in the timing of Him as well. A moment sooner is merely too soon for my best. A moment later is also short of my best. Struggle for the soul is like exercise for the muscles. Without some tearing, sweat and pain, there can be no growth. The weaker fat is burned off, so more muscle may grow in its stead. With a little pain, comes great strength.

And so, friend, I leave you with this today. What questions do you have for God? What doubts linger in your mind? There’s no shame in bringing them to the table. You are no less a child of God for the asking. Your doubt is not the lens through which your Father sees you. He welcomes you as any father should. Is it not the delight of the Father to share His love with His children? Is it not His joy to reveal truth to children begging Him for it? Then, why do we withhold the struggle within? Let’s begin to tear down that emotional wall today. Let’s struggle. Together.