So, I really want to write something meaningful, but I have the sinking feeling this post will be rather meaningless and simply all over the place. Here goes nothing.
Once again I ran into John today and talked with him for over a half hour before scooting off to class. Greg, who was observing the conversation later shed some light on John that I had noticed today in particular but was unwilling to really unearth. John’s biggest problem is that his spiritual life is all in his head. I can say this because this is my great struggle as well. So many truths do I know in my head, but they do not influence the way in which I act on a daily basis. Essentially, I am an encyclopedia of do’s and don’ts. I am no greater than the Pharisees. Foolish vanity. Were I using this knowledge to make a difference in my life and the life of others, this would then be wisdom. However, it is nothing more than wasted knowledge.
I went to a new bible study tonight through Portico, the church I attend here. It was a great conversation reflecting in community on the sermon from Sunday as well as going over the same material as the bible study i normally attend on Mondays. I think the repetition is good for someone like myself who is a little stubborn. It was good getting to meet some guys who I don’t know or don’t know well. We had some great conversation especially in regards to one line of the sermon in particular where Chris said “We should long for the impossibility of rest outside of Christ.” What an amazing statement. We should dream of the day when we do not wish to find rest outside of that is found in Christ. What a beautiful aspiration.
There are few things that annoy me more than unreliable (at best in this case) internet service, being a CS major. This is simply the beast that is the internet at my house here currently. It makes me realize how much I take for granted the overflow of information that is the web. I want my information and I want it this very instant. It’s like waiting a few seconds is going to kill me or invalidate the web page I am trying to view. Wow, that’s mildly pathetic and upsetting.
So, I thought I had run out of things to say, but apparently not. The last thing I promise is once again SOCCER. Yes, I played some intramural this evening and, yes, was I loving life. It’s strange, but after taking a few months off from playing any soccer whatsoever, I feel much more relaxed while I’m playing. The first five minutes of the game were nearly flawless and I realized that this was just what I needed. I, for the first time in my life, was playing without hesitation or fear. In a breakaway, when normally I would have panicked and kicked the ball straight at the keeper, I was almost thrown off by how calm I felt and neatly tucked the ball away in the right side netting. I have never been able to do that. Then, I had another shot where I merely saw the keeper before shooting and hit it with the outside of my right foot, the hardest surface of the foot to control, and past the keeper it went. I know this was by no skill of my own, because I could do neither of these things in practice before the game and I doubt if I could do them on any consistent basis now. In that time I also set up another goal and nearly had a couple more myself. I don’t mean to brag, it’s just that I absolutely love this game and have to talk about it. It is like golf for me where you have that one shot or that one run or touch that is just world class and the memory of that keeps you coming back in the hopes of duplicating it. The only real difference is that this sport is more like 20–30% physical where golf is maybe 1. I don’t mean to diss golfers, as I enjoy the sport myself, but there is a physical aspect to soccer that is certainly not as prevalent in golf. It is this combination that I love so much. And now it’s sleepy time.