extramarital sex like a darkness

It’s no secret that sex and sexual sin have been a thorn in the side of the Church since, well, before the Church. Throughout the ages, sex has pockmarked the Church’s history. And I think we can all agree that today is no different. If this is an age-old problem, then why am I talking about sex today, nearly two thousand years down the line? Because sex has been a struggle for me in the past, one which I’m still trying to fully overcome, but I’m seeing the opposite trend around me. I’m seeing a Church that is much more comfortable talking about the sex, but still shying away from confronting the sex lives that haunt many (certainly not all) years and years into marriage.

Instant virtual sex

Yes, I’m talking about porn here. I’m talking about the very thing even portions of the secular world is demonizing. I’m talking about the very thing that is streaming to us faster and faster as internet speeds steadily increase. I’m talking about the fake sex we convince our minds we’re having that is ripping apart our sexual pasts and futures. But, I’m not telling you who like myself, have or do struggle with this lesser form of sexual gratification to stop. You can do whatever you like. However, you must know that it is tearing you apart every instance; it is snuffing out your future at the same time. You were meant for so much more. But, please, do what you will.

Numbing to sex

If extramarital sex isn’t happening in the church around you explicitly, then I’m just short of guaranteeing that physical intimacy boundaries are being crossed rather frequently. As a show of hands, how many of you can say without a doubt that you never crossed a line regarding sex or physical intimacy with a friend, significant other, stranger from the bar, etc.? I’ll bet that if you’re under thirty your hand is raised. Mine certainly is. The fact that I’m willing to make this claim should say something, though. Somewhere along the lines, we equated sex, or some form of physical intimacy short of sex as acceptable sin as a means of making our faith more relevant to culture. Somewhere along the lines, our faith lost its way.

Shameless sex

Talk to married people and ask them about sex. Chances are, they’ll tell you “sex is great.” There is no truer answer. It’s all-encompassing, it’s honest and there are no caveats. It is the religious elite that have added the ‘but’ to that sentence. There is none. If there needs to be any more said about sex, it is that unmarried people are just not ready for it because of the spiritual, emotional and even the physical implications that sex was always meant to have. The only thing that needs to be explained is that unmarried people do not need to become one with someone who is not their soul mate. But that is another conversation. The point is: sex is great.

Where do we as a Church, the universal set of Bible believers, go from here? The better question is how do we move forward? How do we heal those broken by lesser sex, by empty porn? How do we bring to life the hearts turned to stone by repeated stimulation? How do we transition to the shameless Sex, the sex that God created for us to enjoy supremely as a show of love, worship and gratitude? I’m not sure I have the answers. But I must beg the question, sound the bell. How do we restore sex?