Showing up. For those of you that know me, I also moonlight as a singer/songwriter and I’ll be a part of my first show this weekend. It’s a showcase of a few artists, so nothing horribly stressful, but I’ve been nervous about it now for nearly 2 weeks (OK, a month, but who’s counting?). Yes, you could say I’m a little anxious, but not too bad. However, after a couple conversations in particular, I begin to understand this emotion in a whole new light. I’m understanding it as reinforcing that God is truly sovereign and life is not about me or my abilities. Instead, life is really more about showing up and letting Him do the work through under-qualified people such as myself.
David was a shepherd. Not only was he a shepherd, but he was the youngest in the family and still God chose to use him. David with conceivably no battle knowledge whatsoever, let alone experience, felled the champion of the Philistines, Goliath, with only a rock and a slingshot. You may argue that David could have become very skilled with his slingshot, but to that I say try to hit a temple on your first shot. I doubt David was that good. David showed up, a shepherd to a bloodbath, and God won the war.
The disciples were relatively menial, lower class workers at best. The people Jesus chose to associate closest with were fishermen, tax collectors and people most in society did not want to rub up against, let alone choose for positions of importance. There were hundreds and thousands of Pharisees and Sadducees more theologically qualified, but God chose otherwise. Throughout the ministry of Jesus, the disciples simply did not get it. At every turn they question Jesus missing some of the most basic of truths. Even still, God used all of them (save Judas who hung himself) to build His Church. If there is some inkling of qualification, I’m missing it here.
“If we always keep waiting, we’ll never be ready.” Words from a Mat Kearney song , are so true here. If we’re always concerned with how prepared and qualified we are, we’ll never accomplish anything. There are just some times, some days that we need to exercise a little faith and just show up. I say this again, because I need the reminder: it’s not about us and it never was. This may sound harsh, but I find it relieving to know that the weight of the world I feel has only been conjured by my imagination.
I’m giving my all and putting in as much practice as I can for this show coming up this weekend, but nothing more. When the time comes, I’m picking up my guitar and doing what I have to do. I may not be David or a disciple, but I am no less qualified than any. Whether I am “ready” or not, I’ll get up in front of the crowd (big or small) and put my faith in the One who it’s always been about, the One who never fails on His promises. Now it’s your turn. What’s got you nervous, anxious? In whatever way you feel under-qualified, embrace it because God is good and He has you. Because in the end, we realize it was never about us to begin with. Instead, we’re called to showing up so we can get a front row seat to what He’s doing. So, ask yourself today, do we get upset at God for our own lack of showing up?