I’m a sucker for coming of age movies. It’s probably because I see myself in the eventual hero, as my own coming of age wasn’t all that long ago. I threw on Rushmore Saturday night to unwind from the day’s excitement and found myself appreciating the film from that familiar empathy. But, what really stuck with me was the character’s failed efforts throughout the film at finding the “One” whom he thought to be a teacher at his private school. And then I proceeded to recall all my own failed attempts at pursuing the “One” and how each effort has only led to heartbreak. Then, I woke up and went to church, and that’s when the real thinking began.
Who is your “One”?
Come on, I’m sure someone comes to mind as you think through your dating past. Who is that person that would complete you, make you whole? Who was/is the person that you were able to be you around them, simply because they were himself/herself? The questions I’m asking all point to the mythical beast the “One” we’ve come to believe in like bigfoot, the tooth fairy, and (gasp!) unicorns. Maybe you gave up on them long ago, maybe you found them, or maybe you’re like me and still searching. Spoiler alert: we’ll never find them. Well, maybe you’ll find them, but that fairy tale will come crashing down faster than Chicken Little’s sky. It can’t last because no one was meant to bear that kind of burden.
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith — that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” — Ephesians 3:14–19 ESV
Why we’ll never find the “One”
No one can complete us. I’ve said it before, but apparently I need to hear these words again for my own edification, so please excuse me. There is no one who can complete us. There is no one on this planet who can fill us up. No, that ability and responsibility alone belongs to God. And the only way we are filled by Him is to know His love. Maybe you’re saying you don’t need God, and maybe you’re right, but there is something within you saying you need love, saying you need wholeness. I can speak for myself here. I need love. I need wholeness. While my searching has left me far off, I’ve realized that both are one and both are found in the wide open arms of my loving Father.
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” —
I John 4:16
Why we’ll never need the “One”
We don’t need the “One” because God is love. God is not just loving (thank you, Jason), but He is the embodiment of love. God is love perfected. If God is as I’m claiming here, if God is as He says He is, then what room do we have, what need do we have for the “One”? They are merely encroaching on God’s role in our lives. Really, we are covering up our God-sized hole with…well, let’s say a q-tip. I will say at this point, though, I’m not saying I have or you should give up finding love. If you’re unmarried, feeling you’re meant to be with someone, then find your love. Keep in mind that you have your Love, God, waiting patiently already to provide in the ways Hollywood has told us the “One” should.
Are you searching for the “One” today? Did you find them, but they turned out to just be another mortal? Are you searching for love? Have you stopped to think that maybe you’re really looking for God; that maybe all your yearning is for a Father? Well, is it? Mine is.