When passions collide. Everyone wants their passions to be their life’s work; the intersection of passions and vocation is a beautiful place. I am no exception, however I’d add that I’d like that space to also include making good money as well. In pursuit of this place, I’ve merely floated the past few months. I’ve been exploring options, not willing to commit to one or the other so as not to miss out on any opportunity at all. However, the last few months in seeming reaction to my flightiness presented no such opportunities and I left for Europe frustrated, unfulfilled, deeply unsettled. It was there I realized a simple truth.
We cannot do it all. Given the content of this blog, you’d think I might have come across this before, and you’re right. However, it wasn’t until a quiet moment of clarity on a train somewhere in Europe that it stuck. I have a day job and I have a couple hobbies. Outside of the hours of nine to five, I am both a writer and a singer/songwriter. To run ahead full steam with both and try to have a social life, I’ve been languishing in the dissatisfaction of all three areas. No, I’d have to choose where I wanted to focus my attentions. The people, however, could not be done away with.
Weighing the costs. It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make, because each represents a tantalizing realm of possibilities and so my heart was torn. I wanted my cake, but I wanted to eat it as well. I couldn’t. However, for those of you who know me, I had to understand that music is something that runs in my veins. I had to come to terms with the fact that while I wanted to give up nothing, I had to be true to who I was made to be. I had to listen to a heart coming to life. But, I also had to acknowledge I was choosing the path dim and foggy, fraught with uncertainty and unknowns.
I don’t need to know. Life as I’ve come to know it is a journey. Insomuch, I don’t need to know the destination as that’d only serve to cheapen the journey itself. See, if I believe God has made me the way He did with the passions He has, then I also have to believe He made me to use them and will provide a way for that. If He’s providing a way, then He must know where it leads as He’s the One providing. If He has given me all this, then who am I to question the gift? He has led me this far without harm, therefore I cannot think why I should believe He won’t continue to do the same moving forward. I cannot think why I shouldn’t trust Him with each individual step along the journey. He has never let me down and He will never.
We will come across many new and shiny opportunities in life, but most of the time they are only meant to distract us from who we are. They are mere flashbangs in a war for our heart. Inevitably, there comes a time when we must ignore them and focus only on what’s important, but we have to evaluate that for ourselves in the context of who we are. We must choose between a life of comfort and a life of gritty effectuality. Sometimes, the choice isn’t as clear cut and we get confused. God is not a God of confusion. If we are earnest and patient, He will never disappoint. Most of all, He will never let us down. It’s up to us to come to Him when passions collide.